Outing #51: Winter is here..

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Day 1 – Sunday, 20 May 2018

Okay so Sunday lunch wasn’t quite as cretin-packed as it could’ve been, but they still drop their plates to run to the free food tables as soon as one person starts looking through what’s there.

Wouldn’t wanna miss out on some Coles defrosted donuts gone stale.

I played the church piano most of the day again today, and it was full of people: they had some kind of jacket/winter-clothes giveaway in there and they got a bit annoying occasionally, with anywhere from 5 to 20 people at a time in the church all talking and going through the truckload of clothes scattered around the floor in big bags.

I’ve gotta say though, a remarkable number of people thanked me for my playing, at least a dozen, and I kept insisting I had to be torturing them with the same few songs but they didn’t seem to care about that. Nobody else seems to either, though I wish I had headphones for practice because that’s all I’m doing so I figure they’ve gotta be sick of hearing it but everyone says it’s soothing and give me various compliments about it.

Toni said I play soulfully and with feeling two nights ago when she rang me half-pissed, most say I play beautifully but I didn’t play beautifully yesterday: first thing in the morning my fingers were so cold the middle one on my left hand lost feeling, circulation and went white. Even after that finger started functioning again my hands were freezing all day because the church itself is freezing all day so everything was cold all day long.

Standing in the sun was warm, but I didn’t do much of that.

I wanted to lock the chord and melody for Lonestar down so it doesn’t slip into the void of short-term memory loss.

Once I figured the rush of hungry urchins was done, I went in to see what food there was for lunch, and there wasn’t sausages/mash/gravy but I gave some kind of creamy shit with vegetables a go and that was alright until I ate all the vegetables as the sauce got too saucy so I held my plate out for Leerah, “I’m done it’s too much sauce now”. She told me to scrape it myself and put it on a table to the left because desert’s about to be served.

I did as instructed then returned to the serving window and saw Brain nearby so asked how his issues are going and he told me but he told me so quietly I couldn’t possibly tell you what he said. Fact my right ear is still blocked probably didn’t improve the back and forth but I nodded and frowned and said that sucks and stuff, so I was empathetic enough.

After a few minutes, he went and stood at the serving window because desert was about to happen so i went over and stood next to him, then told Leerah, “Brian and I are first in line Leerah and we’re ready for trifle. We’re waiting.” which took about 5 seconds to say, yet when I’ve looked around there’s already a line of people somehow there and I didn’t even hear the sneaky fuckers get out of their chairs – like apparitions, “Everyone else is ready for trifle now Leerah. Better hurry – *everyone’s* waiting now :)”

She’s spooned some on a plate and I offered it to Brian, figured he’s already got his on the way then saw that the custard and berries were all in the top layer, and I don’t see any berries or custard on my ..I got more custard is the point.

Pretty good trifle too, and although a layer of cream would’ve made it perfect I had two plates before I couldn’t eat anymore.

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Day 2 – Monday, 21 May 2018

I’m meant to go to Penrith today to see the department of housing about emergency accommodation but I haven’t gone.

Rosa’s getting the shits about our current arrangement which is fine, but Friday when both Julia – from Wentworth Housing – and Rosa rang the Penrith office all they had was a bed in a hostel in Parramatta.

Julia has explained this morning via text that once I’ve gone in to the office they might have a “transitional” property there in Penrith for me, which is twice in two days they’ve said the Western suburbs, even though I’ve expressed a keen disinterest in moving from here.

I’d rather a sleeping-bag outside all winter here, than a warm bed somewhere else: I’ve fallen in-love and had my heart broken here, lived in the national park like a feral here, stayed in a cabin and earned up to $1200/week here, lived part-time in Leura Forest, had a parrot that left me here, slept on the street here and – more recently – met a shitload of people here.

I’m not leaving Katoomba.

I want my woman where the fuck is she I’m sick of feeling like half my world is a gaping hole. I was raised an only child alone with a single mother: I need my female counterpart.

Life’s on hold when there’s nobody to live it with and I’m fuckin sick of feeling lost without her.

Like a positive ion drifting aimlessly through the air with no neutralizing negative counter to bring it back down to earth.

Norah’s the only comfort I’ve got.

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Day 3 – Tuesday, 22 May 2018

I slept out in my sleeping-bag last night, woke-up at 4:30am with my alarm then fell asleep again until just over an hour ago.

Sitting in front of the heater in the hall now though.

Geoff still has my piano 🙂

I stopped into tafe on the way to Wentworth Housing and checked on that before I drag Rosa up there with the van. Only a digital I can move it but it’s relatively large with the fixed stand and foot petals bolted to the keyboard itself – it’s too big to throw under my arm and carry back is my point so I need the van.

Anyway it’s all there and waiting including the Yamaha speakers, Audio Technica headphones and piano: over $1500 worth – so I did get to keep something from three years of cleaning 5-7 days a week.

If they weren’t so big generally I’d do as some here have suggested and put a hat down and play on the main street.

Dribble shit to tourists, dribble shit on the piano 🙂

I can put a hat in front of the church piano easily, but Saturdays are the only busy market days that have anybody wandering in the church for stalls, and even then they just cancel anytime the wind looks a bit cool to them: the market stall owners here are pussies; why the markets are inexplicably not on randomly on Saturdays.

And my digital is too big to be moving around at will, though I wouldn’t have to sing our anything: I could just fuck around all day like I do in the church and talk shit to people walking past 🙂

2:02 pm

I’m at the library now and bored already but my phone’s on 10% and needs a charge. Takeli is here just on the other side of the table. I’ve already said hi 🙂

Not a huge talker to start with that one, and the creepy smile; we’ve got Volunteer-Rebecca looking all Children of the Corn on us and Takeli smiles like those lizards from V who held their facial expressions an inappropriate length of time, because they’re fuckin lizards in disguise.

Warm anyway. Wonder what sort of book Takeli would be reading.. some kind’ve new age transcendent higher meditations on aura cleansing or some other hippy rubbish.

18%

Even money says she’s still a virgin.

22%

She came back over to pick-up the merino top I’d shoved off the chair onto the floor and place it on my backpack for me 🙂

I take it back, Takeli is good value.

She also rubbed my arm but I won’t hold that against her: I’m used to being rubbed and hugged and stroked by different woman now.

Said she’d see me Thursday, then left.

26% 🙂

I saw Brian at the church this morning: he was there for the morning tea, as was Barbera and I sat next to her until some cripple came in the hall smelling bad enough to put me completely off my food and I told Barbara it stunk in there and got up and left the hall.

Barbera rubbed my arm too.

Barbera can rub me all she likes. Really.

Ended-up in the church on the piano and everyone but Brian had gone when I returned later, so I talked to him a bit then packed-up the three tables then left for here.

Look at that I’ve caught-up on the day for once 🙂

Wish I could just think the text onto my phone – screen off and in my pocket.

49%

Oh, here’s the only photo I’ve taken today.. enjoy, no really 🙂

64%

Lorraine is back that’s great another bitter old woman with mental issues. Her and Jingles can team-up and piss everyone off twice as much being snide because they’re almost dead and bitter about it.

81%

I’ve got about $2 credit on my phone and no data so this will be the last update until I get WiFi again, and since I’m outside again tonight I’ll have no net until the morning.

5:07 pm

I’m waiting to go back to my secret place because the other option is booked again tonight.

Should’ve got something for dinner, though I’ve eaten today and can eat whenever I wake up.

I got milk and coffee though 🙂

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Day 4 – Wednesday, 23 May 2018

8:32 am

Just waiting for the house keys to arrive I can have a shower and wash my clothes.

4:24 pm

Okay the party is over, where the party was the hall some nights.

The ‘good christian ladies ‘ at the uniting church complained that the hall was warm as though the heater was on and apparently I looked “comfortable”; even though I didn’t stay there last night or the night before.

They squealed like piglets, Rosa got blasted for it and asked for her key back off me this morning.

Barbera left at lunch for the library to look at gumtree for places and I could see myself sharing with her without issue: she’s pretty calm and relatively quiet, I’m quieter at home because I don’t have to be ‘on’ like I do all day in public and she’s just freshly separated from her husband so there won’t be any need to consider any kind of relationship-based thing with her because she’ll be crushed by the marriage expiration for ages.

I’ll find another job once I have a reliable bed and shower and clean clothes to wear again and Barbara can stay and look after her son, while we’d both be able to bring boxes of food each from the church: We’d eat like pigs and I could start eating vegetables again and cooked food.

She could feed me vegetables and I could listen to her and improve my piano for the church with headphones on so nobody has to listen to me practicing the same songs for hours.

That could work and avoid the need for either of us to have to stay in some nasty houso estate or move into a gumtree share house with strangers we might very well hate: you never know looking at a share house – not until after you’ve moved in.

Rosa told me I am eligible for bond etcetera from the Department of Housing to put on a place and I’ve never asked Housing for or recieved any help from them at all, so I’ll have no issue getting the bond from them since it’s the first time I’ve gotten it.

Dunno what I’m waiting for – I’ll find out about bond.

6:06 pm

Mandy’s just baked some kind of bake, and she told me today what it was going to be but I cannot remember.

Sounded nice I remember that, and she’s just asked me whether I’d like some tomorrow for breakfast 🙂

There’s a little rat just ran up and sat here a second two feet away, before I moved slightly and the it bolted. We have crackers and coconut donuts for rodent dinner this evening. Classy.

Of course I would love to try your cooking 🙂

Mandy can rub me all she likes too.

The afternoon Coles truck delivery today was a shocker.

Usually on a Wednesday there’s about 5-7 people when the truckload of donated food from Coles arrives which is enough to speed-up the unloading.

The second-byte truck usually gets to the church around 3:00 pm – after the food parcels are closed for the day at 2:30. The food has to be weighed and on a light day the crates get weighed as they’re being carried in – or shortly after – and on a big delivery we just estimate by sight how many bottles of juice or milk or kilos of potatoes or fruit or whatever because there’s either too much stuff to weight or the van came late and we just want to unload it and go.

Anyhow, regardless the method the incoming delivery is always accounted for and written down before we get to take anything from the crates ourselves.

Though we still do grab the odd item or two before it’s all weighed, that’s not usually much.

Today, delivery was at about 1:00 pm, out of the blue, with people already there looking through food parcels when the truck backed-up the driveway. I was playing the piano and just happened to go out for a coffee refill when I stepped down into the kitchen and saw the now familiar black crates full of food alongside one another and people carrying more in.

I’m going to find a container tomorrow and the this contact lens out for my eyes benefit: it’s still not irritating my eye but it’s dry and my right eye is always bloodshot lately in the mirror: it’s been in my eye about 6 months straight now 🙂

Yeah as the crates were brought into the kitchen this afternoon people who were there for parcels anyway just started going through the unweighed food and by the time the truck was emptied they were into it like a swarm of locusts.

First thing I did was take two 2 ltr bottles of a4 milk into the church to old Betty for her to take home because I’ve never seen Betty take any food at all, then went back and Ahlei’s called out to me there’s stuff over near the sink for me, “Dairy this week Jase! Cream! And yogurt and milk! :)”

I took two bottles of milk for myself then saw Mandy on the step doing something so I gave her a bottle then went back in to grab another replacement-second bottle but whatever; I was back at the dairy section looking at what was there when I see her opposite getting vegetables or something so I handed her some cream, then some yogurt, some more cream, more cream.. in retrospect and since all that cream was gone before we locked-up a few hours ago I should’ve just given her four at a time until she refused any more.

Around twenty 2-litre bottles of full cream a4 was gone in around 10 minutes.

Oh, I can’t answer most of your texts Toni because they’re 0.12c each without the bonus pack and data is only 0.05c/megabyte and I’ve got about $1.54 left.

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Day 5 – Thursday, 24 May 2018

8:04 am

I’ll go down Aldi later and buy one of their shitty vouchers. I went into St George yesterday to see if my card had arrived and Tegan informed me it hasn’t, that it might have gone to my last address.

I told her I didn’t live there anymore and she’s gone ahead and re-cancelled the new card for me then re-ordered a new one to be sent to the branch itself.

Stunningly beautiful girl, I returned later to withdraw money without any ID since the staff know me now and we talked about red wine and fraudulent workers and theft 🙂

Bout twenty minutes we talked about that and one of the doods who worked there started looking over more than common interest would compel him to, but there were no customers waiting so she was free to talk.

Told me she almost threw a stack of $5 notes in the bin by mistake because it’s that time of the day 🙂

4:23 pm

There’s what Mandy cooked for me last night: a vegetable filled frittata I had for lunch 🙂

Comfort food if ever I had it and it was lovely.

I’d give Mandy’s vegetable frittata an 8/10 because microwave reheated is never as good a fresh out the oven but it was still excellent 🙂

Mandy herself gets a 9.5/10 for being sweet enough to cook it and bring in an untouched dish full of food for me and I did get a bit only-child about it: I managed to locate a second new plastic container so I’ve stuffed as much in each as possible and brought one to microwave tonight while the other is in the locked fridge for tomorrow 🙂

And in response to my update last night she rubbed me today generously and she’s good at that too 🙂

One sec.

8:46 pm

Mandy is an excellent cook.

I’ve finally got to eat the take-away container of this morning’s frittata I’d been carrying around for hours.

I had to see a man about a dog for Jen and ended-up carrying my microwavable home-cooked dinner in my pack nearly to Echo Point and back before I was back up at Coles to use the parents changeroom microwave.

Home-cooked in an actual home ❤

I removed that photo because the microwave-container/plastic-fork look didn’t do it justice 🙂

I’ve also got-on a new black cotton top she picked it for me today that’s somehow warm sandwiched between the two layers of merino and I’ve got no idea how that’s happening but as chance would have it I bumped into Brian on the way back from Echo Point – upon mentioning the warmth of the cotton to him – and he explained it all in vague references.

I’ll have to refine this update tomorrow, because I’m down to 17% charge and can’t be bothered getting up to plug it into the power-point around the corner now, but I need the alarm so I’ll stop writing soon and fall asleep.

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Day 6 – Friday, 25 May 2018

6:42 am

I got a haircut yesterday and I couldn’t have done better.

About an hour before the op-shop closed, I just got sick of waiting so I started cutting it myself right there in the op-shop using the mirror they have there and the pink handled scissors I’d bought for the last trim.

Ahlei walked-in, saw what I was doing and what-the-fuck’d me, covered her mouth then laughed and told me to sit down and took the scissors. I got my haircut 🙂

Here’s a photo of a random rose out front of the Carrington..

*…

I decreased my shutter speed – the motion-blur is deliberate.

Who’s there today ..Volunteer-Rebecca, Toni will be back in, Mandy might be and I’ll be trying to learn Thinking about you on the piano.

They’re my plans for the day 🙂

4:25 pm

What shall I have for dinner. I can have whatever I like, but a hamburger and chips doesn’t interest me.

I could just grab something from Coles, but fish as chips wouldn’t be as boring if I replaced the chips with something else. Fish and salad would work.

Sorry for boring you. I learnt the guts of a new song today, that’s, good. Not good for the op-shop perhaps but good for people’s ears having more than two songs all day.

I’ll upload the first page of sheet music so I don’t need to look for it again, and add a tag so I can search them later…

I couldn’t see more without buying it, and naught chance of that happening whenI already own the sheet music books for whole albums I bought of the Apple store when I was working but they’re on my ipad, and I can’t get to them from the Samsung tablet I’ve been using.

The ipad is it the office at the church, but the office gets ‘tidied’ by Rosa and everything gets shuffled around and I wouldn’t have a clue where it is in there: I looked for a while but everything is flat and white in the office – there’s so much paper in stacks all around the office and the ipad is flat and white: did my head in trying to pick a flat thing that wasn’t paper when Rosa starts nagging at me about finding all my stuff in the office and putting it in a single box; instead of all little plastic bags.

I told her not to worry about the ipad and returned to the church.

Toni returned today from her week in Lismore and she didn’t seem as outgoing as usual though she’d also be packed with toxins from being maggoted all week 🙂

Said she was a bit paranoid having not been at the church for a week. She might’ve meant paranoid about being in public generally.

Few days with the locals will get her back to normal 😉

Fish and salad it’s decided: my phone needs charging anyway.

5:29 pm

She got my order wrong because I refused to buy salad when I should be able to swap it for the side of chips so we debated it a bit but I refused to pay separately for the salad so chips it is.

Still, the fish is excellent and it’d wanna be at $7/peice. I asked if it was some kind of rare deep-earth fish for that price. See why it’s easier to just order a burger and chips.

The chips I didn’t bother eating.

Saw Steve yesterday outside Coles – The caretaker at tafe – and he said they should’ve allowed more latitude when I cracked it and resigned. Certainly once they knew I’d just become homeless.

I told him there’s plenty of cleaning jobs and I don’t have to get up at 3:30 am anymore, so I’m okay with it 🙂

Oh Barbera invited me to a mediation class, and I declined sadly: sitting up saying and doing nothing for an hour would bore me and I’d already planned to spend the day in the church itself – no Betty today, so no tables or chairs to setup.

I did explain to her that I’m a long way from stressed anyhow; that my biggest worry at the moment is the little white silicon covers for my earphones popping-off while they’re in my shirt, and falling on the ground.

That stresses me out because I’ll lose them eventually and the earphones will be useless.

I complained about having to alcohol-rub them every time, “..that’s my biggest stress right now Barbera, I don’t know if I really need to meditate.”

I had a pretty good point: I’d end-up meditating on how I wanna get back to the piano.

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Day 7 – Saturday, 26 May 2018

8:00 am

That’s me for the day…

You can watch it working with the sliding wooden music stand pulled completely out. It leaned against the wall for the day. 

And here’s the pipe organ I also have the option to play but don’t because the sound they make is fuckin awful: Count Dracula loves them no doubt.

6:06 pm

Okay well that was indeed me for the day, and I forgot all about Rebecca needing a lunch break, so when I finally ran out of beloved coffee I went in the hall and she’s pounced on me to take the bag so she could go and get lunch.

The dreaded money-bag: chained to the op-shop while I’ve got that bag, I am. Friday morning Rosa gave me the money bag and completely forgot it was in my pocket: I ended-up going to the bank, Coles and back, spent half an hour in the disabled toilet weighing dogs and bashing bagging them, returned to the church then went out again for a coffee before I finally realized the fuckin’ money-bag was still in my pocket.

Over an hour I’d been walking around town with it and when I’ve rushed back to the church I find both Underlings unbothered: like, ‘what’s a money bag?’ unbothered.

Anyhow Saturday; I told Volunteer-Rebecca I just had to go shut the piano and get more coffee and, “OH! the frittata is in the big fridge with the padlock on it Rebecca! Which key opens the padlock?”

She said she didn’t know.

“Ahlei said it was in a container but I’ve got fucking no idea what container they’re taking about.”

She still didn’t know, so I had to go into the kitchen and dig around in some containers before eventually finding the key for the padlock on the walk-in fridge and removing my microwave lunch from it.

Godamn Underlings…

I zapped the sucker on high for 2.5 minutes then took it back to the swivel chair behind the counter that would be my prison for another hour or so.

As soon as I start eating it an old man with a pair of cheap laptop speakers and a hunched back approaches and asks how much they are.

I put the cover back on my food because don’t want him breathing all over it and I’m well aware that my super-fancy omelette is getting colder by the second.

“I dunno, five bucks?”, I tell him and he agrees and gets out a ten dollar note so I’ve gotta dig around in the bag for change.

I’d just given him his change when an old Asian woman nearby asked how much some vase was, so I took it off her and looked at it.

It had some kind of stamp on the bottom dated 1988 and looked well made so I told her $10 just to be sure and she didn’t want it that much: Asians are generally tight-arses though so that’s no surprise and the vase didn’t get mistakenly sold too cheap so you can look at it Mandy; on the off-chance it’s a $40 item 🙂

I go back to eating my lunch but only momentarily, before another old person with another vase wants a price.

I reseal my lunch, again, take the vase of her again: there’s only “Made in China” on the bottom and a moment later I see a huge chip in the spout or lip or whatever – rim.

“Three bucks”, I tell her and she says she doesn’t mind the chip – she likes the vase anyway and pays me in gold coins.

**yawn**

“Yeah it’s a cute little vase”, I tell her and she looks content that someone’s affirmed that the vase she just bought isn’t garage, though we both know it is.

She asked for a bag and I gave her one of the stack I stole from Woolies last week along with the story then told her to have a good day, “Lovely day out there too. Nice and sunny. “

Rebecca seems to attract elderly customers. Accumulate them even. They’re always huddled around the desk talking to her in groups.

One reminder of what’s in store in a few years time is MORE than enough wrinkly yuck for me thanks.

6:51 pm

Dinner tonight, is a large custard pullapart I had to actually buy for once since I missed Rosa’s hominy bakery run this morning so no cake for me, and milk 🙂

If course the rats will get some.

Day 8 – Sunday, 27 May 2018

6:09 pm

Mandy’s been my afternoon from 2 o’clock until an hour ago and I’m quite fine with that.

Daniel – her 8 year old son – behaved well considering his Mum and I were focused on one another most of the time for hours.

She invited me into her home, and what a lovely home it is: feels warm, exceptionally well decorated and clean. She did most of the talking which is also fine: my day-to-day thoughts are right here through five years of text while I know nothing about her.

Two Virgos, both a touch nervous: who’d have thought 🙂

We’d arranged to meet so she could give me some of the lasagne she’d cooked this weekend and it’s getting cold as I type actually hang on.

Whole tray took me about two minutes to eat and the rats got none. Even has a nice after taste too I can still taste it vaguely fifteen minutes later yeah that nice herby tomato garlic taste.

Makes me wish I’d zapped two tubs 🙂

9.9/10 for you’re baked-with-love Lasagne Mandy; I couldn’t find anything wrong with it even microwaved 🙂

I’ve gotta give the rats some of last night’s custard pull-apart to stop them darting around: the rat mafia have increased numerically and become less afraid. Oh, location was off and I double checked both image details to make sure there was none, case you’re wondering.

I was saying just over an hour ago that what started as a single rat running near me when I’m lying still has turned into 4 or 5 of the little fuckers running up to me when I’m, well right now while I’m still awake and obviously here.

Day 9 – Monday, 28 May 2018

7:33 am pm

Day 9 already and all I’ve caught is snippets.

I’ve changed the daily page tag to a more efficiently written snippet of code, because I can. From this…

<div id="day6">
  ●●●○○○
</div>
<h4>
  <a>Day 6 - Friday, 25 May 2018</a>
</h4>

…to this…

<div id="day9">
<h3>Day 9 - Monday, 28 May 2018</h3>
</div>

There’s no need for the dots, I’ve just not bothered to change it. The <div> page anchor tag hasn’t even part of html since version 5, but it still works as a bookmark.

And here’s the menu code that links to the daily entries…

<div id="anchor-menu" style="background-color: #999988;">
  <span style="color: #ffffff;">|••|
    <a style="color: #ffffff;" href="#day1">Day 1</a>|
    <a style="color: #ffffff;" href="#day2">Day 2</a>|
    <a style="color: #ffffff;" href="#day3">Day 3</a>|
    <a style="color: #ffffff;" href="#day4">Day 4</a>|
    <a style="color: #ffffff;" href="#day5">Day 5</a>|
    <a style="color: #ffffff;" href="#day6">Day 6</a>|
    <a style="color: #ffffff;" href="#day7">Day 7</a>|
    <a style="color: #ffffff;" href="#day8">Day 8</a>|
    <a style="color: #ffffff;" href="#day9"><strong>TODAY</strong></a>|••|
  </span>
</div>

How interesting, I know 🙂

I am out of credit completely so there’s no replying until the morning and I hope the bank calls today to tell me my card has arrived – it’s going straight to the branch.

I’m in the library anyway, finishing this iced coffee before I head down to microwave tray 2/3. I’d swear I can still taste the herbs from last night’s serve.

The code is what you don’t see in every page.

Too many ungood around or just ordinary people?

Have fun houseshopping 🙂

She’s gone to look at a house or houses.

Very artificial air about them, library’s have, but only half a litre to go and I can have breakfast. 🙂

*brunch.

Incidentally, while I remember, the op-shop takings were $180 on Saturday: I played around on the piano all day Saturday except for the hour or so Rebecca was having lunch.

Understandable, I mean the op-shop is brimming with quality merchandise like this photo of a cat.

I’m amazed nobody’s snatched that little gem up 🙂

The clothes in the shop have been picked-through and a lot of ugly shit has been vanished, had new stock added to the racks and been reshuffled/resorted by Mandy, Toni and Ahlei over the past two weeks, so the shop racks look like they’ve got new stuff on them and would contribute a reasonable amount to the improved sales.

Volunteer-Rebecca didn’t scare them away with that weird munsters vibe she’s sporting, which is good! Numerous jackets and blankets got sold it looked like at a glance – along with bundles of clothes etc.

Good job not being too obviously creepy Volunteer-Rebecca!

MALACHI WILL BE PLEASED! 🙂

5:04 pm

I’m waiting until I think it’s close enough to dinnertime to go and microwave that last tub.

No card today.

There was a moment last night just before I left your body language said you’ll have a hug now – your shoulders slumped for a split second – but Daniel was getting ready to come out and I figured I’d intruded enough for one afternoon 🙂

Few Saturdays ago Mandy came into the church kitchen in tears and I wanted to hug her then but Malcolm was farting shit out his mouth about the perils of tap-water or some other rubbish: really it’s always the same dribbly rant with Malcolm, delivered exactly the same with exactly the same words and exactly the same tone and fabricated verbal inflection.

Nobody wants to hear it, least of all a woman who’s neighbor has just brought her to tears.

I told Malcolm to shut up but forgot about the upset woman and part of me did not like the potential for Malcolm to slip in and hug her too – monkey-see, monkey-do kinda thing – though he’s a bit old and a headfucked to think about things like that, I think.

I’ve gotta find a utensil to eat with, and wish I had’ve said yes to that little avocado/kiwifruit thing, NOW.

Night Lurkers 🙂

Day 10 – Tuesday, 29 May 2018

2:08 pm

My new St George card arrived and I can tap and buy online services so I’m not telephonically crippled by those shitty recharge vouchers that’re all you can get without a visa card.

I’ve been to the church this morning, seen everybody there and spent around an hour on the piano while Barbara and Mandy talked woman stuff – I’ll assume mostly the perils of marriage and the sting of separation.

A few days ago I’d rush to listen to Barbera and try and make her laugh or something just to elevate her mood; she’d tell me how awful it is and yeah.

Inexplicably, that now feels inappropriate 🙂

So once Mandy and Barbera were 1-on-1’ing it up I left them to it: really, Mandy’s been married three times and she’s a woman – better than I am at understanding that kind of thing and mm.

Here’s a photo of yesterdays lunch: there’s no more lasagne left, but there’s more Mandy 🙂

I’ll be going over her place for a shower this afternoon since Rosa hadn’t left the house keys I couldn’t shower there.

For a second the invitation sounded like a long way to go for a shower I could just wait until tomorrow to have, then I realized and accepted her offer.

Standing in her kitchen the other night, she’s told me about some nutcase at the church she was seeing and how she shouldn’t have invited him to her home but he seemed so normal: ‘You just don’t know they’re weirdos until they’re already in your house’

“Yet here I am in your kitchen Mandy! I could be anyone! :)”

I’ve got spaghetti going cold, I’ll catch-up in the morning now I can do it anywhere. Here’s a photo of The Carrington on the way past looking all pretty at night.

There’s something just awesome about having a site like this: I feel mentally linked to here; like a storage shed of thoughts and events, and thoughts about events and people.

Here’s another thought: I am beginning to feel it – that warmth.

And complicated is naturally more interesting than simple x

Beautiful, you are.

Night Katoomba – my backpack has more soft things in it than hard and nothing’s digging into me at all: it’s serving as an excellent pillow tonight 🙂

Day 11 – Wednesday, 30 May 2018

7:25 am

I slept I until about 20 minutes ago: the caffeination process has commenced.

8:38 am

So I’ll piano until Rosa gets here with the key to the house, then go out and put washing on while I have a shower then in the op-shop to ugh, sort suitcases ?

Waiting for Ahlei to let me into the church.

4:38 pm

Okay so Ahlei opened, I got to amuse myself with the baby grand until Rosa arrived then washed myself and ALL my clothes – opposed to just the clothes I’m changing into.

I am so tired I’m numb and have that flushed warm feeling. Remind me to not process thoughts after 8:00pm tonight, somebody.

From about ten in the morning I was dead on my feet and not even three lattes from the waffle place plus 4-5 bottles of instant snapped me out of it at all: my whole mouth feels as though it’s lined with velvet.

The food truck arrived after the kitchen closed today, though there was nothing in it but fruit and veges plus way too many small bottles of Farmhouse Gold that all expire tomorrow.

Oh there was also a large bag of grated tasty cheese and a block of lite tasty: that’s it – no yogurt, buiscuts, cottage cheese, dips; Nothing at all just vegetables and fruit .. and all that milk.

I told everybody we’d simply close the kitchen whenever the truck gets here and told everyone, “THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED! IF YOU’RE NOT A VOLUNTEER FUCK OFF.”; a rehearsal to see what the others thought.

They all liked it. Even the old church woman I hadn’t noticed liked it and – once I’d started explaining last Wednesdays delivery being pounced-on by 20 people – said she’d heard about that, and maybe we should’ve said that last week.

But the truck arrived after food parcels were shut for the day, and no random people were lurking around so I didn’t get to tell a roomful of people to fuck off 🙁

Day 12 – Thursday, 31 May 2018

6:59 am

Thanks to the cold and three layers I’ve got under my pants my right testicle keeps getting pushed up into my groin.

Strange to have to keep popping it back out: of course it’s the combined elastic in the underwear plus two base layers of thermal leggings squeezing it in but I’m still sick of pushing that one testicle down where it belongs.

This is where we’ll be until I get sick of being warm and out of the wind: it’s here or those steps on the main street but they’re too cold this morning so we gotta tolerate the ‘industrial’ ambiénce, My apologies 🙂

Stinks like rejection out there anyway.

7:59 am

I got sick of being warm and out of the wind.

The atmosphere killer yesterday was myself I was so tired.

I nearly lost balance and fell over while leaning down to hear what Toni was saying – she saw it – and ended-up telling her to shut up repeatedly, “Toni please will you shut the fuck up you haven’t stopped talking you’re driving me insane.”

Then Ahlei and that old French woman started talking excitedly, “Shut up shut up shut UP! Please shuddup just fuckin’ stop!”

Old French woman got offended and asked ‘who are yooo to tell mee to shut up?’, but I was too tired to argue with the woman and just sat down.

I slept last night, fortunately.

7:21 pm

I’ll eat dinner before I give you the bedtime update, because cold roast potatoes are never a good thing 🙂

Tonight for dinner I’ve got rissoles with sweet potatoes and again she’s cooked a meal that’s just lovely – Mandy’s cooking tastes like she made it at home with love and like her lasagne the taste stays when I’ve finished eating.

Mandy and I talked a lot about details, within the safety of the “hypotheticals” sandbox, and yeah; how much do I write about it?

Though I’ve not asked her yet, I’d anticipate she’d be happy for me to write everything this side of tasteful and within the boundaries of the ‘code’, respect for her and common sense – which I’d planned to do anyway: I could write anything hypothetically, but we all know it’s not really hypothetical at all 🙂

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Hypothetically first of all, I would be devoted to you so you’d never have to worry about me straying because I would love you and never do that.

I would be yours.

*…

Wait wait see I’m not exactly crafting a-grade reading here, I need to process.

How’s this:

I’m falling in love with you.

There: saved myself another two hours agonizing over what and how to write around the point, you see 🙂

Extra efficient today 🙂

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Dinner was delicious, thank you x

Day 13 – Friday, 1 June 2018

6:27 am

I anticipated wrong 🙂

I’m averaging about 15,000 words a month with two fortnighty posts: bit slack, I know 🙂

Today will be the op-shop and Volunteer-Rebecca will be the only officially scheduled underling for the day, I think, so it’ll likely be quiet all day and gone me a chance to catch-up here a bit.

Very cold out there this morning 🙂

I haven’t even seen the church but there’ll be no markets today, I doubt.

12:58 pm

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I’ve been up and down from the piano most of the day but there’s only one thing I want to talk/write about and I’ve agreed to keep our privacy in tact.

I’ll say this much though: our hugs are remarkable: charged, but gentle and *so* warm.

Everyone’s in the other half of the building doing whatever they’re doing: Malcolm’s on the op-shops old PC like a teenager gobbling up conspiracy sites..

Wait Brian’s here. Like, in-the-church-walking-towards-the-piano here.

He just gave me a jacket he said he’s tested it for many hundreds of kilometers, though it looks relatively new.

Certainly not my colour, but it’s warm and very nice of you Brian thanks 🙂

Now Malcolm and that Scottish dude are both into their conspiracy pft: the Scottish guy’s the only person I’ve seen who seems to want to engage Malcolm more than necessary.

He gets as into it as Malcolm does but I don’t know how he can find Malcolm so engaging. Seriously, it’s baffling.

Horses for courses I suppose 🙂

There’s only one thing I want to write about though and it sure as shit isn’t Malcolm, but I kind of don’t: we’ve only just found out ourselves so fuck everyone else knowing as much as we do.

Sorry lurkers.

[scf-allow role=”Administrator, Author”]I cannot stop thinking about you.[/scf-allow]

Rosa has told Rex and I we can stay back in the hall if we like when everyone goes, though she can’t leave a key we can pull the door shut when we’re ready to go.

He didn’t want to stay so it’s just me in the eerily quiet hall again 🙂

[scf-allow role=”Administrator, Author”]Last night while trying to write it down in words, I wrote a paragraph saying that I’m inclined to want to keep it to us because it’s new like a seedling and I want to protect it while that first little tap-root gets a hold in soil x[/scf-allow]

They’re all gone and the market stall owners are packing their stuff. It’s not as cold out there as it was this morning, and the jacket Brian gave me is an excellent outer shell but it’s either here or the library this time of the afternoon and I’d rather the hall – eerie as it is 🙂

Toni hasn’t been in since the other day, hope it wasn’t that I told her to shuddup,  I told everyone else to shut up as well and I was mm, shattered 🙂

Like a freight train.

An elegant, charming, beautiful, feminine, intelligent, kind and caring freight train ❤

Started with a chipped model of the Tardis, and to think I was genuinely annoyed with her that day for selling the thing for under ten bucks 🙂

Oh, and Market-Jamie told me earlier that the woman who’s always cleaning things with the blonde hair – looks about 60ish – is looking for a flatmate and in Katoomba, though it’s on the northern side: my cabin was on that side of town and it was a pain in the arse.

There are no supermarkets, no anything on that side so you’ve gotta walk twice the distance both in and out of town every time and whatever negatives there might be too sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag, I’ve been a minute from the main street and bang in the heart of town for almost half a year now, and I can’t say I’m chomping at the bit to have to pay rent to live in the middle of nowhere.

Course, I have to move into a shared place anyway because I have to find another job soon so I can buy you Roses and chocolates and gifts and coffees and re-wardrobe myself up, I don’t believe that’ll be the place: fact I refused her a smoke when she asked yesterday then just sat in the swivel-chair this afternoon playing with my phone while she huffed and panted bringing her market stuff into the hall wouldn’t make me her favorite person anyway 🙂

I’ve just finished a hamburger – minus the side of chips tonight – because there’s been a change of plans.

One of the stall owners cars battery went flat, and whether they’re too cheap to pay for a cab or too broke they were still there in the hall an hour ago I tired of waiting to have the place to myself and came back to my secret place.

It’ll be about 7°C without much wind most of the night though so you need not worry at all; I’m quite comfortable 🙂

Saturday tomorrow so I can sleep-in in the morning too 🙂

I said I’d go in and do the op-shop tomorrow I usually do, but I’m only required on any practical level to act as Rebecca’s second person: for safety if anything happens there’s supposed to be a minimum of two people there.

If the markets are on tomorrow I can just ignore the op-shop and play the piano outer even leave, though I do have to be there to take the shop while she’s having her lunch break and to help pack-up the shop when it closes.

Gotta help her with the packing-up: I did the op-shop a few weeks back on my own and packing the whole shop into that little room on my own just sucked shit – I’d feel bad if I left her to do it all.

Speaking of Rebeccas, Cleaner-Rebecca who cleaned the shopping centre at Coles is gone! *PHOOF!* vanished from the job.

Said she was doing a test to be a truck driver last I heard so maybe that’s where she vanished to 🙂

We all know I’ll fall asleep as soon as I cocoon myself in the sleeping-bag and get warm so this will be it for the day 🙂

Goodnight Katoomba.

[scf-allow role=”Administrator, Author”]It just occurred to me; you’re the first person to see me out of public mode since I became homeless Xox
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[scf-allow role=”Administrator, Author”]Night You ?[/scf-allow]

Day 14 – Saturday, 2 June 2018

10:39 am

I’m at the church but late: slept in until 9:30 am and have just arrived and taken the heater and there’s not a market-stall out there anywhere.

Looks sunny enough, though it is quiet in town.

[scf-allow role=”Administrator, Author”]Hope you’re not annoyed or upset – she’s just my mother; I didn’t take out an advert in the paper x[/scf-allow]

11:29 am

 

There’s been a break and enter overnight and I’ve got a pretty good idea who, though you cannot know categorically I a place like this.

Police have been and gone and I luckily didn’t get to engage with them, so there was no risk of my inadvertently mentioning “That’s one of my socks!”, which of course it is.

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