March 2019: The site is saved and back on a premium server! ๐Ÿ™ƒ

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Friday, 1st March 2019

Okay so I haven’t bothered to write lately because I’ve been busy watching TV and masturbating excessively.

I’ve also been drawing which isn’t exactly geared towards maintaining a running commentary.

For a while there I was playing an online wargame that got pretty addictive indeed: a civilization-building game that sees you gather resources to build your city and amass military troops to attack and defend against other online players and it was excellent for a while, until it wasn’t, then one morning I woke up and just didn’t feel like logging on just to farm and amass troops anymore.

Still, I miss some of the conversations, and miss the energy of conversation with Tais, but the game just got boring, nobody was online at the same time anymore and without the strategy chat and social aspect there was no point playing anymore.

For another thing the site is due to be paid again and without the money to pay it, it’ll simply be suspended and marked for deletion by my web server providers which meant there’s little point writing anything if it’s all about to be deleted anyway.

As it is I *think* I might be able to save it again, but I’m still not entirely sure.

Since starvation has been my only friend the majority of the last six months, I have decided to switch to the dehydrated food I ate while camping during the 16-months in the valley. It wasn’t the best diet, but can’t have been the worst and I certainly didn’t feel or look unhealthy even after over a year of eating the same shit you see in the photo above.

I know this diet very well, having spent over a year learning which foods work in the middle of nowhere for ten days straight. The difference being that back then I was limited by pack space as to how much food I could squeeze in: now, I don’t need to worry about that at all. I’ve even got a second bedroom I could fill with food theoretically, so I can store pretty much unlimited food.

Listen to me, like some WW2-era survivor wanting to pile up on food in case the nazi’s come back!

I’m going to be eating a lot of noodles with dried asian add-ins, but having literally not a scrap to eat over the past four or five days, I am better off eating noodles loaded with other dried shit than a mug of hot water with a herbal tea-bag in it, so that’s what we’ll do.

Back to the food.

Actually not back to the food.. here’s my “action-item list”. I was going to write it on some paper on the wall but here will do since I’m, here.

    • Minimize emotional investment: In her, of course: I’ll just blank my mind every time I start thinking about it, instead of allowing the thought to move to the front and start snowballing, which is what anyones brain does thinking about anything it feels strongly about.
    • Start hoarding food: Not that I’ve ever really cared about food. I like it but I’m not a fat chick in love with scrummies.. it’s just food, but having nothing at all to eat for days on end has to have errosive effects on anyones health. I’ll continue taking multi-vitamins to suppliment the camping foods. I’ll focus on raw ingredients: sugar, flour, oil, yeast, dried herbs and veges and dried milk and maybe even dried eggs, since they’re about the same price as a dozen fresh eggs and last forever in the cupboard.
    • Continue drawing: The drawings I’ve done recently are probably about 5% of my ability, but with no target woman to impress I am simply forcing myself to draw anything – simply to try and teach myself some discipline, because I generally have uh, none.
    • Get another job: I do actually want another job, I just don’t want to get up at 3:00 AM, and as nice as it is to have the money, manual jobs like cleaning are not only tiring, they’re repetitious to the point of dehumanization. On the pro side, cleaning keeps you pretty fuckin fit.
    • Start saving money: With the discipline gained from forcing myself to draw daily, I’ll start saving money instead of wasting it on new toys and sparkly things.

There they are and they actually tasted excellent.

Tell you what I’ll do actually, is leave the site’s fate to you: all of the best writing I’ve done here has always been written for you or directed at you, and $500 will give my hoard of food a good kickstart plus mean not running out of everything. Shit, I might even get some energy to do something with a consistent nutritional intake.

So you can save it if you want there to be more to read, or let it be deleted for non-payment.

We have until the 16th of this month.

Up to you โฃ

Tuesday, 5th March 2019

The site is going down: I need food and shit too much to spend every last cent I’ve got renewing, and nobody else cares enough to contribute so there ya go.

We’re not talking “down” until I can pay it, but scheduled for complete deletion and I sure as shit won’t be starting another site from scratch when this one is gone.

Meantime though, I’ve got it in my head to start learning how to brew my own fermented soft drinks..

From left to right we have spiced ginger beer, brewed cola and creaming soda, all made to traditional recipes with nothing but fresh ingredients..

And here’s a bee I drew.

Thursday, 7th March 2019

..pink raspberry lemonade with fresh lemon and raspberry.

I only cooked it up last night so it’s still hyper-sweet, but the yeast will reduce that sugar content in the next day or two.

Easy as, tastes excellent.

Saturday, 9th March 2019

With 7 days to go this’ll probably be my last post, so goodbye it’s been a mixed blessing writing for you.

The on/off/on/off woman can pack up and go too, which she will since the site has kept us connected for three years: even through arguments that lasted months, she’d be able to read here to find out anything I was doing, so once that’s gone there’ll less contact and less contact ultimately leads to less point in staying in contact.

Just as well I guess, since she’s been completely useless to be on any human level for far too long.

Here’s some bread I baked last night though while I’m here..

Lovely bread .. tastes like a dinner roll, and it’s only flat like that because I baked it in a steel mixing bowl.

I’m trying to find the best tasting fluffy bread so I can learn it in and out and make it without the need for measuring or recipes or any if that bullshit.

Here’s orange and honey before the second rise..

The ginger beer has been in the cupboard for 6 days now, and there’s no taste of sugar in there at all anymore.

More like ginger wine, it tastes and after half a bottle I’m already starting to get a bit pissed, so I’ll finish this off then drink the creaming soda which is only vanilla and raspberry flavored, but was bottled on the same day as the ginger beer with more sugar.

Carbonation is minimal, because I’ve left the caps off the bottles to prevent explosion and good thing: they would’ve exploded on thre second day if I’d left them sealed.

Seriously, just boil everything that goes in the bottle, add some yeast andas in a week or so you’ve got you’re own 100% natural beer in ang flavour you like – go try it ?

I don’t know why any idiot would pay $5/ beer when you can probably make a cartoon for just a bit of yeast and $2: worth of sugar.. oop! The bread!

I’ve got two loaves going tonight.


I haven’t even tasted the creaming soda, but I don’t imagine – fermented to the point of zero sugar – vanilla will taste that awesome mm.

I need to drink two bottles anyway to make the bottles empty for the next batch: ginger beer and raspberry, it will be.

The bread turned out excellent, but I’m leaving the second loaf an extra hour – just to learn what effect that has on the dough.

Anyway, there’s dinner, suck me off: 100% natural, and though it’s only bread and ginger beer I made both food and drink from scratch.

Sunday, 10th March 2019

I’ve still got a slight headache at 4:00pm, and may have had one too many, but didn’t realize that until I stood up to walk in the kitchen but managed to slam into the door frame instead, before losing balance backwards.

Lucky the front door caught me, but my shoulder still hurts from the edge of the door frame.

Incidentally, I’m going to stop smoking and ordered $200 worth of e-liquids, which seems like a lot of money to any typically closed-minded non-smoker, but having recently got to the point of having no eliquid left at all yeah whatever I’ll do what I fuckin like until I’ve got somebody to behave any better for ???

Okay everyone, I’ve saved the site and have just exported ALL my posts from here then uploaded them to the new site.

Suck my dick, whoever didn’t care – you know who you are.

Here’s the new site address..

http://psychaesthetic.x10host.com

I’ll move the domain name on payday and instead of paying over $550, it’ll cost me just $15 for my domain renewal: the new host is free.

Now to download and upload the pages..

I still need to fuck around a bit with the layout and add a few things, plus re-sort the catagories, I guess, or not, but I’m simply going to switch to updating here instead of there so bookmark this site and start returning here to catch-up on the train wreck that is my current life, unfold.

Monday, 11th March 2019

Only reason I bothered going out today: what is home-made bread without butter, right?

Alright I’m back home and have found the catch to such easy cross-server data migration: the images are all still coming from psychaesthetic.com – that’s right the image source for every photo is the old site, which obviously needs to be sorted before Friday or Saturday.

I should be able to find a tool that’ll import the photos, but if I can’t I’ll have to download ALL media (countless gigabytes, since each photo is around 7mb a piece) then manually upload and replace them.

That’s an *arduous* task given there are hundreds of photos and some of those homeless posts contain two dozen photos individually, so we’ll see what I can get done before the end of the week but if worse comes to worse I’ll download the whole lot Friday then start replacing them here at my ah, leisure.

God I’ve got a big dick – I’m sure it gets larger the older I get.

At least all my writing has been copied over and is safe, that’s the most important thing with hundreds of thousands of words over the last four years, but this site has always been a photo-diary too: the photos explicitely illustrate the writing, so the images have to be preserved too.

First thing’s first though: I’ve gotta get thumbnails in the posts listing – it’s just a bit dull with only text.

Fuck, I cannot express my relief that I bothered spending that whopping 10 minutes googling server alternatives.

Good lord that’s nice .. it’s two days old though: I can have fresher than that.

I’ll make a fresh plain loaf in a minute with the butter instead of oil and minus the orange rind and with a touch less sugar – have it while it’s still warm out the oven slathered in butter.

There’s an ad on TV, where a place called “GoDaddy” claims anybody can create a website in under one hour – isn’t that adorable ๐Ÿ™‚

True too, anyone can with a little website provider like that, but they don’t tell you that a website is absolutely worthless if there’s no content, and any original content takes constant input for a lot more than an hour.

An empty site with a shitty generic theme – you can make one of those in an hour, certainly.

Check out the stupidly fluffy bubbles going on in this. It’s since been punched, flattened, rolled, cut in half, pinched and I’ll now leave them another hour or more before finishing them off in the oven.

Yeah when I started this site in 2011 or ’12, I was naturally full-on obsessed with how it looked and all the flashy bells and whistles, because I had nothing on the site really. I even installed and test-drove several site building platforms then uninstalled them before finally sticking with wordpress and that’s the same installation I’m still using now.

Once I’d moved to the Blue Mountains and started writing and adding photos I had to change the theme to be dark for maximum battery life in the middle of a rainforest, then wrote my own theme from scratch – also the same theme I’m still using now: Psychaesthetic Dark.

There was going to be a light theme, but it seemed illogical to bother: lighter screen, more glare and eye strain and far less phone battery charge.

Once I’d started getting into the Rainforest Journals though, I just stopped giving a shit about how slick the site looked because I had something for people to read – a diary with photos – but I always am very disappointed when I go back and see how short those posts were compared to the epic 20,000 word novellas I went on to write while homeless.

Then I didn’t write anything or even visit the site for ages – I was busy chasing my own tail over that little bitch and was working – until I cracked it at the bitch and tried to blackmail her into cooperation by threatening to quit my job, which she called my bluff on and voila: she also watched while I became homeless without even mumbling an “I love you don’t!” and that looked like a good enough reason to start another round of writing, hence the Homeless Journals.

Thing is though, when I started writing that, I found I could write better than I could back when I typed out the Rainforest Journals, and the longer I wrote the better and more succinctly I could write – for better OR worse.

Some of the negative posts I’ve written I’ve actually deleted myself because they were so full of nastiness and so toxic they just had to go, and – conversely – some of the positive entries I’ve posted have been so soft and vulnerable I deleted them too.

So for ALL the emotional fluctuations in the spectrum of good and bad writing I’ve done, even the worst posts still listed are tame by comparison to the high and low extremes I’ve deleted completely, though I should really leave them in place.

That wasn’t even my point though.

My point was that at some point I started caring so much more about what I was writing and deleting and reading back over the text to see that it reads well enough to be at least mildly amusing, I just stopped caring in the slightest about the site looking slick, and I still don’t care – as long as the lay-out is neat enough to be functional I don’t need to care about how pretty the site looks, especially with all the pretty photos – photos I’ve grown so much better at capturing too since I started the site all those years ago.

Flawless: so soft it bends like a little pillow when you hold it, and slightly sweet like a KFC dinner bun.

That’s one out. The second is still rising, because I know yeast can survive a week in a bottle of sugary water and if yeast can last that long in a bottle they can go for longer than the standard two hours rise-time in most white bread recipes: long as there’s still sugar in the dough they’ll keep on pumping out the bubbles.

No hurry to cook it I mean: since the first loaf is cooked and cooling we’ll just let the second loaf continue another hour or so.

There’ll be less sugar in the second loaf, but probably not that much.

Tuesday, 12th March 2019

Bitch I love you. When are you going to snap out of it and stop being such a cow?

*** Little pig, little pig, open up or I’ll blow your house down! ***

I’m tired of playing the big bad wolf, though I do emphasize with him: both he and I have spent far too long banging on the same door and just like the wolf all I want to fuckin do is come inside and eat you.

Speaking of little pigs, she’s told me she cannot access the site through her home wifi connection, though she can connect to the site just fine through the mobile network on her phone.

Not having a broadband connection at all myself I always use mobile data and always edit this on my phone and always have, so I can’t compare broadband connectivity with anyone.

Anyone else having issues loading this site since it’s moved to the new server?

Oh right, nobody can reply – that’s too bad, that ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ll just assume everyone’s fine except her for now anyway, since I’ve stil got a lot of photos and images to move across from the old server.

I have noticed a 508 Resource Error that pops up occasionally, but not persistently and not very often which is a minuscule price to pay to have the site hosted free – especially when the majority of “free” server space online inflicts inline ads, popups and other annoying shit nobody wants on their screen.

Sort it out later, that’s what we’ll do.

I love the fresh wordpress installation: without all the alterations it’s much cleaner, faster and easier to write and I hadn’t updated wordpress on the old server for donkeys, so it’s like sitting down to use a brand new windows installation, or a new mobile phone.

*** This little piggy went wee-wee-wee-wee, all the way home ***

Cult of the Family’s on ABC tonight at 8:30PM: the latest three-part installment in the crime series that preceded with that olympic bitch who murdered her baby after aborting like 50 pregnancies because they were inconvenient and got in the way of her sporting accomplishments – Kelli Lane, that’s her: all the gold medals in the world, yet look what a peice of shit that bitch is.

She’s still in jail, and I certainly believed she was guilty by the time I’d watch all three episodes. The defenses big defense was that they never found the babies body, but really a baby isn’t very big and very easy to vanish.

Suffocate it, chop it, cook and feed it to the dog: bleach then dispose of any cooking equipment plus the dogs shit and it’s like no baby ever happened and a snake like Keli Lane would have no issue getting one of her dumbshit boyfriends to do all that for her.

Course you’d have to be a bit more meticulous in your planning in actuality, but it’s still not much meat to dispose of.

Then they had the 3-part special on that blonde teenage chick who was grabbed, raped and murdered.. Trudi Someone: she wasn’t a nasty slut like Kelli Lane, just an attractive woman unlucky enough to be crossing a street alone at the same time a serial rapist and murderer was out looking for a victim in that neighborhood.

Police never found any of the victims bodies even after 20 years, and the rapist died in prison on other charges, so he got away scot-free with raping and murdering who knows how many women.

Poppy’s foot is framed and on my ex’s wall.

I’ve imported most of the photos and images without needing to actually download them all to my phone: rather they just copied from server->server online.

I found the photo above of one drawing I actually tried to do well, of Poppys’ foot while she was sitting next to me on the lounge one day – no photo, no reference, just the dog, sitting still long enough for me to draw it.

The dog herself: Poppy

Wednesday, 13th March 2019

My drug dealer has got me a fridge, I’m just waiting for him to get here so I can go grab it and carry it up with him.

Good fridge for nothing though: most the fridges I’ve seen at op-shops are only slightly bigger than a bar fridge – this one’s a normal full-sized fridge and came pre- cleaned.

Glad I didn’t listen to the bitch and actually buy a fridge with that $500, though it isn’t the first time in recent memory taking her advice would’ve been a dumb thing to do.

Thursday, 14th March 2019

They’re ya go..

We’re at Centrelink this morning to change the repayment amount for the loan – that’s right, I’ve had to leave the house..

Annoying as it is, it’s still easier than dragging my arse up a big hill every morning at sunrise to clean some arseholes building and cleaning some arseholes building is no more satisfying than sitting on my arse.

Still I’ve gotta get a job eventually: can’t sit around in a puddle of my own juices forever – semen is the most resource-hungry bodily fluid produced by any animal you know – though even that’s more satisfying than playing the dumb worker-ant for fuck all extra money. 

Better take a photo of something while I’m here: because. 

I’d also better write myself a shopping list too: now I’ve finally got a fridge I can buy meat, cheese, icecream and whatever other minced, processed animal parts people store in fridges.

I predict I’ll be more than happy to eat meat for quite a while…

Wine? Beer? Or Alcoholic soft-drink?

And there’s the Lemon & Raspberry fermented up for a full week: tastes very much alcoholic but lovely, and though I won’t be scoffing it down because I hate hangovers, I will certainly be making more. 

Friday, 15th March 2019

Okay I’ve been and done shopping and came back with two jumbo packs of sausages, because memories of how amazing those sausages I stole at TAFE when I was starving still make them my current preference: I don’t give a shit if they’re made of minced-up animal dicks, lips and noses they’re fucking awesome and with so many fat-shit vegetarians waddling around, I do not subscribe to horseshit about how superfood the great vege-diet of the masses is.

If you’re sporting skin as pale as death, black circles around baggy eyes and have to load each vegetarian wonder-meal so full of fat just to make it not taste like shit you need to run all day just to burn off the fat before it stacks-up, I cannot envision any logical reason to proclaim that as a healthy diet.

Maybe it is when it’s salad and beans with nothing but lemon juice for flavor, but the vegetarian meals I’ve seen to date are far from wholesome salady goodness and like the grey-skinned wankers who shuffle in and out the local food co-op here in town looking like absolute shit, you’ve really gotta wonder why some people feel it imperative they treat a meat-free diet like some kind of higher-calling from god.

*** Like born-again-christians ***

Of course we all secretly know it’s much more about being part of a trendy ‘clique’ than about either diet or animal rights, but eliminating a food group that’s been a key mechanic im human development since we were little more than salamanders fighting to crawl out the great swamp? Genius!

Why pay any attention to millions of years of dietary evolution when we now have a whopping twenty years of scientific theory and interwebz? Again, there’s some real genius at work there.

The wool of social fashion has been pulled so tightly over some peoples eyes they literally cannot see simple logic to save themselves and it’s truly vomit-inducing to see how far some people will go to fit in with like-minded fools who’ll dive into anything that looks like it might make them appear just that little bit more special to the ‘great unwashed’ around them: yet the great unwashed ARE the very people I’m talking about – people who’ll do anything to make themselves feel superior to the common carnivorous plebs still eating meat like humans have evolved over countless millenia to do.

Astonishing how mindless some people can be.

I’m unsure why the SSL certificate isn’t active for psychaesthetic.net, but I’ve just installed it for the domain and if it still doesn’t show me the sparkly green padlock by tomorrow I’ll start reading up on fixes.

Right now I’ve got my wholemeal bread rising: wholemeal bread to wrap around the sausages I’ll be stuffing down my throat for dinner later and honestly, any meat at all would suffice since I haven’t had any iron in my diet whatsoever for months now: not even a ham sandwich.

The omnipotent green padlock: certifying that every last byte of data send to or from the site is secured with bank-grade 256bit encryption: nobody can intercept any information coming or going from this site ๐Ÿ˜‰

Of course, outside of passwords and the like, anyone can read pretty much anything here since everything is open to the public anyway, but I like the almighty green padlock and dislike the ugly broken red one ๐Ÿ˜‰

I’m very agitated today and I’m unsure why.

Could simply be because I’ve run out of 420, or the fact I only got 2-3 hours sleep, OR the fact that there’s still a few things to sort with this relocated server thing but that last one shouldn’t be the cause: in one day I’ve got my premium hosting, got my second domain registered and the DNS lookup servers have already indexed it plus I’ve registered and installed the SSL certificate which has now gone live and everything’s pretty functional.

All for a massive initial outlay of a dizzying $25AUD ๐Ÿ˜Ž

The last thing bugging me about the site is WordPress installed with it’s default maximum file upload size of a ridiculous 2mb but that’s not hard to fix really, though it has to be fixed: have a look at the average size of even a mobile phone photo these days – they’re 5-7mb each so I can’t freely take photos and shove em in posts until I’ve dug around the php files with FTP and changed the code to set it to unlimited.

I should create slick, shiny sites for other people: that’d sure as shit pay better than cleaning toilets or mopping up other idiots slop.

Maybe I’m hungry, that could be it, but I know that will be well taken care of in a minute.

Maybe it’s because I’m a generally malcontented cranky fuckhead ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ll boil the sausages I think: save all that horrid greasy shit spattering all over the stove.

Dunno. Who gives a shit: it’s probably a combination of the above.

34 guests! That tells me those of you who are readers have migrated over with the rest of the site – good job lurkers! ๐Ÿ™‚

My bread is ready for the oven..

Incidentally, I bought this today along with the other things on my shopping list: a 5kg jumbo bag of flour..

I started learning to make bread over a year ago in the little cabin on the other side of town, and though I became distracted in my pursuit of also learning to bake buttery shortbread biscuits, it didn’t take long to get the hang of bread.

Though making your own bread from scratch every time you want it is a bit of an inconvenience, I have always found that whenever I buy the stuff, half the loaf inevitably ends up sitting on the table going stale, then gets tossed in the bin – only to be replaced by another loaf that’s fresh for a day or two before that goes in the trash too.

Although bread isn’t expensive, and while flour+yeast+oil+sugar plus other ingredients no doubt works out to be at least the same price if not more expensive than simply buying the shit, the fact I need to actually make it before I can eat it means there’s so much less waste because I can make less and throw out less.. hang on..

And finally, though I’m already full from the sausages I sampled beforehand ..

Okay I’ve changed the php settings and up’ed the file upload size limit from 2mb to 1024mb, so I shouldn’t be shunted by that file-exceeds-limit bullshit.

Now to test it with a photo of a Poppy..

Gorgeous dog, she is.

Night Lurkers ๐Ÿ™‚

Saturday, 16th March 2019

Gravy and sausages tonight, and I haven’t updated today because I’ve registered a developer API key with google so I can use their fonts, though there’s about 600 so it’s hard to pick ones from a scrolling list that massive but I’ve also been editing the site’s stylesheets because the theme needs a change.

God bless’em, they’re all still at it ๐ŸŽฎ

Goin to make gravy.

Miraculously, just as I was thinking *** the gravy will be like, just white and not look right at all *** it occured to me I’d bought a bottle of Parisian Browning Essence to make that Cola a week or two ago so my gravy will not only be flavoured with meat juices from the sausages, it’ll be the perfect colour too!

How fuckn awesome is that! ๐Ÿ™ƒ

I’ll make extra so I can mop it up with last nights’ home-baked bread and butter and I’ve just remembered I bought ten packets of chicken stock while at the shop last week on-special for $0.10c per box, and chicken gravy would go with oven roast potatoes like bread goes with butter..

I’m also going to cut my hair tonight because it’s starting to look a bit sheep-dog, and though I’ve got the electric trimmer, winter is coming and I don’t want it that short.

First gravy from scratch, ever.

My god, is there anything I cannot do brilliantly when I bother to do something? I’ve already chopped the leftover sausages from last night, tossed them in the pan and eaten it all. If only it wasn’t pissing rain all day I could’ve gone for potatoes – that would’ve been a perfect meal.

I believe trendy “foodie” wankers call that comfort food and was it ever: I could’ve simply chopped and boiled the potatoes, since there was plenty of flavor in the sausages and gravy.. that was excellent.

Nutmeg was the only spice I added to the gravy apart from salt and if I weren’t already nicely filled I’d go cook more sausages right now and more gravy from the juices.

Beeeeeeautiful..

Alright coffee, then haircut and a shower..

Sunday, 17th March 2019

The coffee, haircut and shower happened exactly as planned.

Since I moved-in here there’s been a leak in the kitchen coming from the stove and anytime I forget to turn the valve off when I’m done cooking at night, I get up in the morning and find the whole place stinks like gas.

Last night I forgot to turn it off again and though I closed the kitchen door before bed, the moment I walked in the smell hit me – even with both windows open all night.

It’s not enough to be flammable or I’d already have blown the windows out smoking, but it could explain why I wake up with a headache more often here than anywhere else I’ve ever slept and though I should call and have them come and fix it, that would mean having some arsehole in my kitchen half the day plus having to empty the cupboards – I don’t want either.

Hang on..

Yeah right so it’s pissing rain again today but I want potatoes among other things so I’m simply going to have to go out there.

Well, I don’t really have to go out .. depends how bad I want potatoes…

2:36 PM..

I wanted potatoes bad enough, plus stocked-up on cheese, milk, coffee and sugar.

Chick at Coles was nice enough to understand how it pissed me off that I forgot to ask for the two rubber sticky toys they’ve got on promotion at the moment and she tossed a few extra in my bag while I was there.

There’s the little rubber sticky promotional gimmicks one of our chain of supermarkets are peddling, and though they’re stupid and I don’t care about them at all, those little figurines bare witness to how much I’ve spent on food lately: every $30 you spend gets you one free sticky character. Maybe that’s why I love them mm.

I’ll bring back you’re Tupperware container tomorrow Mandy: I’ve not darkened the door of that cesspit of human filth since I walked out of there last year with the shits so I’m not about to lower myself to going back again now.

And woman #7, though I’ve no reason to give a shit about you’re peace of mind since you’ve never given a shit about mine, you can calm down: I’m only dropping off a cake container not going over to fuck the woman – don’t pitch a fit.

Brian is here! ๐Ÿ™‚

I’d be lying if I said I missed the excruciatingly protracted conversations Brian and I used to have, I cannot help but smile when I see him around: still hunched, still looks 100 years old and still like him because he’s still intellectually curious ๐Ÿ™‚

He’s over by the photocopy machine – trying to get it to work. ๐Ÿ™‚

Speak of the devil he’s come over to talk to me..

4:33 PM..

I’ve only just finished talking to Brian now, but what a multi- dimensional conversation that was and not half as boring as chat with Brian used to be: now I often don’t even use my voice anymore for a week at a time the extended conversation was actually interesting.

He even asked me if I wanted to go for a coffee or something when the libary was closing, but I declined the offer, telling him I only came into town for potatoes and that I’ve already been in here two hours longer than I’d planned to be though if I didn’t have a backpack heavily weighed-down with over 7kg of food I probably would’ve.

Now to get home, dry off and finish choosing fonts for the theme.

6:57 PM..

I’ve installed a basic chat script that will allow anybody to leave me a message anytime they like: if I’m online I can reply instantly, if I’m offline you can leave a message.

Just tap the green button at the lower-right of the page and enter your name ๐Ÿ™‚

7:55 PM..

But wait! There’s more!

I’ve gotta make chicken gravy wait..

Potatoes with chicken gravy and home-baked wholemeal bread and butter for dinner tonight.

Dinner turned out lovely – like there was ever any doubt it would ๐Ÿ˜Ž

The gravy-of-the-night was chicken with fresh minced garlic, thyme, butter and of course chicken stock and though the potatoes were simply boiled they suited and diluted the rich buttery sauce that smothered them just perfectly.

The bread is two days old now, so that wasn’t quite what I’d classify as the highlight but it’s still perfectly edible and the sweet dinner-roll flavor of the loaf breaks up the savoury of the gravy itself.

I’m messing around trying different live chat scripts to find one I like best, because not only can anybody reading the site leave messages OR chat live with me when I’m here updating or editing, I’ve realized it could also be quite useful for me to use as a notepad, upload photos and other files, write shopping lists to and add anything else that’s short and sweet since the moment I send a message it gets saved to the site so purely for my own practical benefit it’s useful.

I’ve gotta go to bed soon, so I’ll keep messing around with it until I start getting tired though I’ve gotta say I feel infinitely more energetic and better generally since eating real food for just a few days now.

I suspect the iron content in the sausages might have deserve the lions’ share of credit for that – considering how long it’d been since I last ate anything at all with iron in it.

So nice to have a woman who’s at least cared enough the last six months to make me come over her place so she could rest easy knowing I’d at least occasionally had a plate of healthy food to stop me growing sick from malnutrition, huh? Especially considering the woman I’ve spent years funneling all my time and effort into knows so much about healthy eating she’s practically a dietitian.

Oh wait, right, “Go and get your own shit it’s not my problem” is the depth of care I’ve received.

Speaking of you: it’s almost 5:00 AM and I’ve gotta get some sleep, but before I go where have I seen *this* before…

Like an elephant, I never forget a thing. ..except important, practical, useful things I actually NEED to remember, of course.

I was impressed with the sight of multiple blocks of cheese you had in the fridge that lasted seemingly forever without them going all oily and blugh like any cheese I’ve brought home and put in the cupboard all summer – like some kind of magic voodoo shit, cheese remaining intact that long: now I’ve got my own little stack to be in awe of ๐Ÿ˜

Goodnight Woman #7, goodnight Woman #8 and goodnight Lurkers.

Oh, case anyone’s thinking I’m some kind of sexist arsehole: the reason I reference women by numbers is not to be an arsehole, but because this is a public website accessible to the entire world, so I refer to them as Woman #– purely to keep them anonymous and thus protect their identity – not for the purpose of demeaning them.

Glad we cleared that up ๐Ÿ™‚

Monday 18th March 2019

Okay so the Tupperware won’t be happening today, since it’s already almost 2:00 PM and I’m only on my second coffee plus I’ve got todays bread to make, but I’ll get around to it.

Even if I hadn’t slept half the day away it’s been pissing down consistently all day long and that’s no weather to be walking around the neighbourhood in.

Matter of fact I need to go and get the dough started now if I want fresh bread by dinner-time, so I’ll do that before I start updating for the day..

Thunderbirds are go! ..where the thunderbirds in question are tiny and irrelevent single-cell organisms that can’t liberate themselves from a puddle of warm water.

Okay the dough is kneaded and on it’s first rise.

Once Brian had come over and said hi at the library yesterday, we had.. well first we had a discussion about human intelligence and what it means, then moved on to talk about perfection and what that means: Brian being of the opinion that although perfection is very difficult to attain and rare it’s possible, while I opined that you need to draw a distinction between what I dubbed simple perfection and human perfection. Simple perfection being such things as maths equations which are perfectly doable versus human perfection which is an oxymoron that will never, ever happen because we’re such deeply flawed bioligical organisms there’s just no way perfection will ever exist, that even if it could theoretically exist it would only be possible if there were no variation between people: we’d need to be robots and lose any individuality which would mean losing much more than we’d gain.

I suppose a better way of labelling the distinction would be to change the two to binary and organic perfection, and now I’ve thought about it I find it bizare that while an ecosystem can be perfect if left in balance and an animal can be perfect in it’s natural state since animals operate purely on need and instinct, human-beings are so wrapped in SO many layers of their own bullshit that we will never find a perfect human being.

After *that* there was a conversation about bushwalks until the libary shut which saw us standing outside in the rain an additional forty-odd minutes before I finally told him we’re getting too wet and have a good night I’m going home.What was my point.. yeah right, Brian asked at one point what I’d been up to – as you do – so I told him I’ve been getting into learning how to be domestic and have lately become enamored by the idea of creating food from raw ingredients, “..learning to bake my own bread Brian! I made ginger beer the other day from scratch too – proper fermented ginger beer at that!”

Brian thought that was a very worthy pursuit to be involved with and being the age he is plus living through World War 2 in England when he was a child, he would probably remember a time when people used to actually create things at home instead of simply buying shit from a supermarket so he would understandably think that was a good thing to teach myself.

For tonight’s bread I’ve added a bit of the organic malted barley extract I bought months ago, because malted barley just sounds like something that wouldbe good in bread to add richness and it’s a near honey-thick concentrated carbohydrate so I just assumed the yeast would love it – which they apparently did because the loaf if as soft as a croissant.

And tonight’s dinner will be boiled sausages, mashed potato and bread from the loaf above ๐Ÿ›

Okay so we’ll just ignore the mashed potato and sausages because they’re just what they are and they were great and all, but the bread? Best bread I have ever baked..

Could’ve been the barley malt extract, could’ve been the extra oil I added this time..
It’s *that* soft and the loaf hasn’t dried out in the slightest since I cut slices from it half an hour ago!

Tuesday 19th March 2019

Good morning Lurkers!

The old server expires in a few hours now, so I’ll have one last look through for anything I’ve forgotten and though I know I’ll lose the larger Lifetime Album images – all of them – that doesn’t seem so important since I’ve still got all those photos on one device or another.

Even the compressed *.zip file was over 10gb and there’s no way I was willing to use-up that much mobile data just for loose photos: especially considering 90% of them are still on this phone.

As for the photos I’d uploaded to all the posts so far, I didn’t even try to manually re-insert them all because WordPress.com creates a backup of every file you upload and there’s just too many images to get sorted out.

And now I think about it, the extra oil in last nights’ bread had to be what made it so much moister and softer and it’s amusing now, how well I thought the other loaves turned out.

Don’t get me wrong, the others were soft, fluffy and perfectly edible but more cake-like in texture and would dry out very quick once they’d cooled and had slices cut from them.

I can hear a Kookaburra outside making a big noise to tell everyone rain is about to happen again.

Here’s the only good photo of a Kookaburra I’ve ever managed to take. They’re well known to be accurate weather alerts for rain, though you’ll find the Currawongs and Cockatoos also get suddenly yappy when a storm or rain is coming.

The Kookaburra don’t liiie and much like a Cockatoo I could just keep yarping all day: farting-out every thought I have as it occurs ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ll make a second loaf of that bread in a minute.

Though I should be looking for a job so I can make hay while the sun shines, the sun isn’t shining so it’s fair enough to bake instead, by my logic.

Suck my arse dick-lickers I am too quick for you.

I’ve exercised a bit of discipline and sent my resume off to a few places online before I go off and re-create last night’s epically soft, exceptionally full flavored bread and now I’ve had a sandwich with last night’s I’ll need more soon anyway.

It was still soft enough a few minutes ago to be indistinguishable from how it was last night and though I’m well aware all this writing about bread would be boring shit out of you Lurkers, you’ll just have to put up with it a bit longer: I’m going to nail this fuckin bread so I can pluck it out my mental rolodex and bang out a perfect loaf anytime I like – I’m writing down the measurements this time too, so I’ll have a record to base future bread from and add the recipe here – assuming it turns out as well as it did last night.

Peep Show is back on ABC2 and – as well as part two of Cult of the Family being on tonight – Louis Theroux has a brand new show on tonight and though he looks very much like Bert from Sesame street who doesn’t love his shows! Check it out..

Awesome: hope it’s a series!

The bread turned out just as good the night before and had the same texture, moisture and flavour, though I mixed up less so the finished loaf was smaller sadly..

The issue with it’s being smaller of course was it wasn’t big enough to hold a whole fried egg without the egg draping over the sides and into the plate. A minor issue, but an issue anyway since eggs and toast is what I had.

Wednesday 20th March 2019

I’m digging around through some older posts, reinserting images and really, I should go back and edit a lot of the text in a lot of older posts: considering my writing did improve and become more fluent, dramatic and succinct over time I read back over some of those older posts and see how short and lacking detail they are – I could very easily add more detail now and improve all those posts while there’s nothing thrilling going on..

I’ve also gotta clean the kitchen because it looks like a fuckin’ bomb exploded inside a bag of flour at the moment.

And though I’ve now completely run out of tobacco as of this morning, I can’t say I’m bothered much: having not only run out of smokes a few weeks ago but also using-up every last drop of eliquid I had that was bad, but now? Now I’ve got enough bottled nicotine to kill an army and can choose between five different flavors in 6, 12 or 18mg so I don’t give a shit.

As well as the 3 100ml bottles of commercial 6mg liquid, I ordered a 100ml bottle of 18mg custard flavoured liquid: 18mg is too strong to vaporize without coughing your head off and I bought this to dilute to 12mg and flavor myself with some of the flavour apprentice bottles I’ve got in the cupboard – pictured above is a bottle of 12mg tub of gingerbread, malted milk and graham cracker (digestives to us here in Australia) and a full bottle of banana, honey and nut, also 12mg.
We’re even coming along with domesticity to the point of having funnels to prevent getting slop all over everything and that’s good, because as great as the viscous liquid is, glycerine *never* dries: chemically speaking it absorbs moisture from the air, which is why it’s employed the world over in cosmetics as a moisturizer.

Again I’m looking at Woman #7 from a logical perspective and time alone will reduce what minor sentimentality I still have towards her to nothing at all.

Way back when, it would take me months before I flipped and told her to fuck off, then weeks and now the cycle is down to just a few days at a time I’ve gradually transitioned to spending so much less energy even getting pissed-off at what a sick fuck she is and no time at all thinking anything nice about her that the balance has shifted so far to the negative it’s not hard to eliminate thoughts about her at all for days, even weeks at a time, and with years of only resentment and mistreatment it’s impossible to go back now anyway: I have refused to go over for dinner every time in the past few months and still refuse to waste even an hour over there just for her kids amusement.

Bit sad, but I will never return to her house again for another evening of pretending there’s some point being there when it’s never gone anywhere before: history only repeats itself and there’s never been anything but that bitch treating me like someone to take ther piss out of – why would anyone with a brain in their head continue subjecting themselves to low-grade shit like that?

The whole thing has tapered-out to the point it’s now just an anachronism of a bygone era that was left for dead years ago, and years ago is when I should’ve walked away – I’m sure the 130 people dropping in are tired of reading about such a non-event excuse for a romantic sub-plot and I sure as shit want a happier, more productive romantic train of thought to write about.

All I’ve gotta do is wait a while longer and the ‘out of sight out of mind’ mechanic that’s been in effect for so long will drive those last few nails in and bury it completely forever.

Oven roast potatoes and gravy for dinner I think – with bread, of course ๐Ÿฅ”๐Ÿ˜Ž

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